Wednesday, June 30, 2010


There will come a day when you'll feel something like this.

Nauseated, Distraught, Demented.

I feel it now. It gushes through my veins.

I can't take it anymore.

I wanna live my own life, the problem is, I can't afford to tell my parents how I feel about my situation, I'm just too insecure.

I want to take medicine, that's all I wanted, but being a Filipino, with such low economy, my parents tend to force me to pursue me as a nurse so I can leave this fucking place and take them after a couple of years.

Don't they know how hard it is to engulf what they want for me.

It's very hard!

How I wish I could tell them that I know, I've had some mistakes in the past, but please support me still on taking Medicine.

I don't want to leave the Philippines. I have a big heart and passion in serving this country.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

I concede again.

As I concede to my situation right now, behind everything that's happening in my life.

There's still this one person I'll also would like to concede as well.

To you Father, I know your plans for me, is to make me prosperous and abundant. I pray that you lead me to your way, and straighten thepath I'm taking.
Forgive me, for I have been harsh, lazy and above all else, a sinner.

Help me grow in your arms. Discipline me, and be with me always.

I'll wait for you, and I cast to you all this burdens I have here in my Heart. I love you Jesus.

May you still accept me as your beloved and priceless son. Thank you.

I concede.

Like any person who fail at some point, they need to accept the fact that they fail and to embrace the need to move on.

I for one, is now at this point. The point of Conceding.

I dreamt that I'll become a doctor someday, and up until now, that's the vivid dream I only want to pursue. I thought everything will be on its place, and everything will come smooth. I was wrong.

I got a low score on my NMAT. I was ecstatic. I didn't know what to do. It was all my fault. I didn't prepare for this, and this also meant that I'm not prepared for Medicine at all.

I only applied to one school. my dream school. I don't want to study anywhere but on that school only. I can enter I know, I have high hopes, I'm an alumnus there already, they can accept me. No school should ever turn its back on its fellow alumnus. and again I was wrong.

Months passed, still with high hopes, until one day, the hopes fade away. My life is ruined. I haven't enrolled to any school, and now I lost a school year for me to enter med school. I am losing time. and now I realize, how precious time is.

Now, I have to pay for the consequences, gotta prepare for the next NMAT, gotta have high score! gotta enroll to different SCHOOLS possible and will never lose any time again.

It's hard to accept what's going through in my life, I'm an achiever in my pre-med course. but I'll never forget the Life Lesson it brought to my life.

It became a scar. The scar of conceding.